County fairs were a rite of passage during my formative years in Columbia, South Carolina. We couldn’t wait to ride the rickety Ferris Wheels and roller coasters that would be considered a death trap by today’s standards. My buddy Jake delighted in pranking the clueless staff at the information desk, asking  them to page imaginary friends like Homer Sessual (reportedly a German exchange student) to come to the rocket. Say it in fast in a broad Southern accent and you’ll see the humor from a 14 year old boy’s perspective. 

Then of course, there was the food. Cotton candy, French fries doused in vinegar and huge “Elephant Ear” fried donuts. The kind of stuff that sticks to your ribs like 20 years later.  I’ve heard about the evolution of county fair food over the years, with the advent of fried Twinkies and Snickers bars. But yesterday, a friend who attended the Orange County fair this past weekend alerted me to a new concoction - chocolate-covered bacon. Just writing this, I feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde locked in a heated conflict.  Part of me, dormant and suppressed, rejoices in the thought of crispy bacon smothered with chocolate goodness, while the often healthy grown-up cringes a bit in horror. But if that sucker was in front of me right now, I’d snarf up a piece of chocolate covered bacon before you could blink. You know, just out of scientific curiosity.

So that creative invention made me wonder what other outrageous food pairings might be out there. Turns out that Denny’s now has a fried cheese sandwich that features four jumbo fried mozzarella sticks jammed inside – making a mere  “grilled” cheese sandwich seem tame in comparison.  IHOP’s pancake stackers put layers of cheese cake in between pancake and dump whipped cream and fruit on top. At 1,250 calories, it’s a meal that will stick around your middle.

What is the most outrageous food pairing you’ve ever encountered or created yourself? Feel free to use past tense or blame hormones to assuage any guilt!