spies_aug2010Spies have to be good at lots of things, like cracking codes and hand-to-hand combat. (I’ve seen every James Bond movie multiple times, hence my expertise on this topic.) One of their core competencies, in the same way that the rest of us might excel at strategic planning or project management, is sabotage. You’ve got to be able to disarm the laser in the evil guy’s lair, or thwart their plans to destroy the earth’s atmosphere. But wait, maybe I’m just thinking of Austin Powers. Guess the point is that as much as spies excel at sabotage, they’ve got nothing on how badly we can derail ourselves.

Last week, I heard a segment on my favorite morning radio show that prompted this post.  A caller named Leanne bemoaned gaining 23 pounds in the six months since her boyfriend, Shawn, left for Europe. He was coming home, and Leanne didn’t want t face him with the extra weight. She reported back, a few days later, that they finally met and she broke it off when Shawn didn’t seem that into her.  The deejays thought the story was off, and a quick recap with Shawn confirmed that suspicion. Turns out he was looking forward to seeing Leanne and thought she looked great. That is until she kept asking non-stop if her extra weight was a problem and discrediting his responses. You can check out the whole saga here - http://tinyurl.com/2an7kx8,

Leanne’s rampant insecurity sabotaged that once promising relationship.  But she’s not alone. Every day, people do little things to ensure they don’t lose the extra pounds, don’t get a promotion at work, don't pay off the credit card and much more. Coming clean to oneself is the first step in breaking this pattern for good.

Have you ever engaged in self-sabotage? If so, how were you able to fix or end it at some point?

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4 Responses to “Acts of Sabotage”

  1. I have to admit that I am way more uncomfortable about my body than my husband EVER seemed to be. You'd think if it was so obvious that he found me attractive I might eventually believe it:)

  2. I definitely have engaged in self-sabotage. Where I convince myself I don't deserve or could NEVER achieve whatever it is I'm working towards. Then i end up giving up. I also have pushed people away by my constant need for them to approve of me, but then denying any support they do show.

  3. Hi Tina and Karen. Thanks for sharing your comments! It is amazing how we can all be so smart about many areas and still have a blindside with self-sabotage. :)

  4. I've listened to the above radio show & agree with the woman who said that women shouldn't equate their weight with their worth. There's so much more to us as human beings. I think it's important to have compassion for people struggling with this, versus picking her apart, which is counterproductive. She needs support & love, not criticism. It's not right to kick someone like that when they are down. Positive encouragement is the pathway to a solution.

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